One thing that I have found amazing, as a vintage lady, is that some of the same conversations are going on now that were going on when I was growing up. Grown ups and politicians are still trying to think up ways to keep young people from having sex. I don’t mean teeny boppers necessarily, but young people in their late teens and twenties. It didn’t work back when I was growing up and after watching Prohibition, I see it didn’t work real well during the roaring 20’s either.
According to the religious section in Washingtonpost.com:
Relevant Magazine, an evangelical Christian publication, made ripples in religious circles with their recent article titled“(Almost) Everyone’s Doing It”about some “surprising” findings on evangelicals and sex.
The October issue article citedresearch showing that unmarried evangelicals are having sex almost as frequently as everyone else. While 88 percent of all young people (ages 18-29) said they have had sex, 80 percent those who self-identify as “evangelical” had.
Several solutions were suggested:
One way that churches are responding to what they see as way-faring couples is by marrying them. A recent poll by the Christian research group LifeWay indicates that 58 percent of Protestant pastors would perform marriages for couples who are sleeping together or living together.
Mark Regnerus, a sociologist at the University of Texas, has been beating the “early marriage”drum for years, calling for couples to marry younger in order to avoid temptation, and has recently remade the argument in his new book on premarital sex.
I am sure not too convinced that marrying younger is the solution to a more stable marriage. Now I have a question or 2. Why are young evangelicals less likely to have sex than say young Catholics? Are the young evangelicals just faking all the care about the values issues? I get concerned about the reality check when I hear the values folks wanting to dry up social programs, outlaw abortion and defund Title X family planning clinics. Hopefully, the sexually active young evangelicals will take a more realistic approach to the values issues and start speaking out loudly and clearly.
There are just some things I am never going to understand, I suppose. This is beginning to sound a lot like “do as I say not as I do.”
So what is the disconnect here? Are young evangelicals supposedly more chaste than the rest of the world? How do we sort out the evangelicals from the Christians and how does this relate to sex? Anyone know?
Just a quick thought, as I am not disposed for a long debate or analysis. Also, I am just expressing my opinion, based on learning and personal experience as an evangelical Christian. Your mileage may vary.
Churches trying to discourage unmarrieds (regardless of age) from having sex is what churches are supposed to do. Thinking that the Christian community is somehow immune from the influences of a “Fallen World” is naive. Considering popular culture delivers a constant barrage of sex. It’s in the TV we watch, the marketing we are exposed to, the music we listen to, the books and magazines we read, the radio, etc. etc. Even a significant amount of content conservative FOX News website is of a sexual nature. If you are part of society, there is no escaping it. So what do you do?
First off, evangelicals tend to be protestants. That is not to say that there aren’t Catholics or members of other denominations who are evangelical in their beliefs and actions, but as referred to in literature and discussion, if you as a self-described evangelical what denomintation they are of, they are most likely to respond with one of the protestant ones. To figure out what an “evangelical” church is, or an “evangelical christian” is, you have to understand what an “evangelist” is. In as much as this is a “self-applied” descriptor, generally speaking an “evangelical” is one who believes in the concept of being “born again” after making a decision to enter into a personal relationship with Christ, and has a high regard for biblical authority. Furthermore, the evangelical is motivated to share their witness with others, in hopes of helping to bring them also to Christ. Last and most importantly, the evangelical places Christ as the highest authority and acknowledges “no one gets to the Father, except through Christ”. Evangelicals are not “seperatists”. Quite the contrary. Evangelicals are called to be “in the world, but not of the world”, as they cannot carry out their “commission” by removing themselves from society.
I would say that an evangelical church is no more or no less vulnerable to the pressures or temptations of society and culture. Where they differ is in their approach, however this is not exclusive to evangelical churches either. I was once a practicing Roman Catholic, and the messages I received regarding sexual immorality (as defined in the Bible) are the same as those I now receve as a Pentecostal. Just because someone attends church every Sunday, doesn’t mean they live a Christian life Monday-Saturday. It doesn’t mean that these parents are active in communicating with their kids regarding sex. Just because someone is very devout in their beliefs, doesn’t mean they cannot succumb to temptation and engage in sex outside of marriage. Doing so doesn’t condemn them to eternity in Hell either, at least according to my understanding of scripture. Just because someone is an Athiest, doesn’t mean they can’t raise morally upright children, who become chaste adults either. It just means their reasoning for remaining chaste is based on something other than religious beliefs.
What I commend the churches for doing is pushing back against a secular society that sells sex without consequence to kids, and this marketing targets younger and younger children every year. I commend the Churches for encouraging young adults to wait for marriage, and if they can’t wait, encourging them to marry. This is what Paul taught. The Christian belief of “sanctuary in matrimony” has a lot of merits. Now I know someone will chime in and say: this encourages people to marry for the wrong reasons. I’m not going to get pulled into that debate. Why? Because I am one of those “evangelicals” who places a “high regard for Biblical authority”. I am merely trying to explain how this “evangelical’s” understanding of how and why the Church is dealing with the issue of sex outside of marriage.
Thanks for your explanation. There are sure a lot of terms thrown around and your explantion fills in some blanks.
Paul certainly had some strange ideas about things, in my opinion.
I guess I would say that churches very much much should teach responsible sexual behavior to adults regardless of age. I don’t necessarily agree with the abstainance part. For example, older people who marry can lose social security benefits from a spouse if they marry another after the spouse dies. I would just shack up, and without apology. (however it isn’t an issue at the moment.)
Very informative, thank you for sharing. I agree with much of what you said, especially the sexualizing of children WAY too early. My feelings about waiting to become sexually active are not based on G-d, but more a belief that young women are used too often and then tossed aside. Young girls believe sex is a demonstration of love, while young men just see it as just sex and not love more often than not.
Totally agree, Elena.
@Elena
Elena,
Much agreement. Regardless of the motivation, it is the goal of teaching our kids that sex is complicated, and fraught with risk in such a way that when faced with the decision whether or not to, they make an informed and wise decision. Abstainence is a goal, but saying “just say no” without any context leaves the kids wondering “why?” especially if they believe that everyone else says its OK. I would also add that only focusing on girls is a huge mistake. We owe it to our sons, (and someone else’s daughters) to teach them to have a healthy respect for girls, to know the difference between someone being a “sexual being” (all humans are) and not a “sexual object”, and put sex in a proper context, based on the beliefs we hold as individuals.
I would agree that teaching sons is as important as teaching daughters. So much of this is about self respect and respect for others. We don’t live in an era of wink wink nudge nudge any more.
@Moon-howler
Moon,
Paul was the first real evangelist…and to some of us his views are devinely inspired.
As to the myriad of reasons why two people would feel it better to “shack up”, Churches should teach what they believe would be pleasing to God. Nothing more. Nothing less. Of course it isn’t that simple, since Christians, unless they are of a seperatist faith, live in a secular society. Render unto Ceaser what is Ceaser’s. Render unto the Lord what is the Lord’s. Social Security is in Ceaser’s realm. Me personally, I’d rather be right with God, but that’s just me, and I am not condeming anyone.
Love that differentiation Steve between sexual beings and sexual objects, so absolutely right on the mark.
You are also correct, can’t leave out the importance of raising boys to be respectful young men to women.
I blame rock ‘n’ roll. Its the music of the Devil! Its the cause of the downfall of society! Our parents were right!
“elvis the pelvis” !!!!!
Always found that revivals were a good place to discover someone of the opposite sex who was praying for the same thing you were. And it is good to remember that sex existed before Christianity–otherwise there wouldn’t be anyone to practice Christianity or any other religion.
Steve talked about “Sunday only Christians”–sounds like some of the Baptists I grew up with as well as some others who will remain nameless at this time.
You’re right Elena about boys and girls and their view of sex. Remember–women are from Venus, men are from Mars.
I watched several documentaries on A&E I think about the Amish and their ideas on Rumspringa. One sect in PA allows both the males and females to dress in a “gentile” manner, own cars, own cell phones, drink, etc. once they turn 16. The behavior is accepted since the teens have not yet been baptised into the church. Very interesting to see those who return to the fold and get baptised within months, and those that spend years floundering in the secular world. What struck me was a statement an Amish elder made that the Amish society has the same issues with premarital sex and out of wed lock births that the rest of society has. What struck me in the documentary was that here was a group of teens, sheltered for years with no exposure to the world who went out into the world and were sucked up into a really black place of drug use etc. They fell for things that teens “in the world” might not have. It was really sad.