A dignified transfer is conducted for every U.S. military member who dies in the theater of operation while in the service of their country.  This transfer takes place at Dover Air Force Base. 

 

 

Today the New York Times told of a new facility at Dover Air Force Base, where our troops killed in service of their country are flown in from Afghanistan and Iraq.  Much will change, for the better,  for our military families who have to greet the unthinkable–their son, daughter, husband, wife, father’s casket. 

Since April 2009, the first month of a Pentagon policy that allowed media coverage of the transfers, the remains of 366 service members from Iraq and Afghanistan have passed through Dover, the main point of entry for the nation’s war dead to return home. They have been met by more than 1,000 family members, whose travel and lodging expenses to Dover are paid for by the military.

Families coming to witness the dignified transfer of their loved ones killed in Afghanistan and Iraq had no space to grieve or talk.  They often were in a crowded space with other families.  Sometimes the cramped quarters led to unpleasant circumstances.   Suzie Schwartz, the wife of Gen. Norton A. Schwartz, the Air Force chief of staff, witnessed some of the tension and stress that was exchanged between families awaiting the arrival of the deceased and told her husband that something had to be done. 

And done it was.  On Wednesday, January 6, the center opened:

…at Dover of the Center for the Families of the Fallen, an expansive space of soothing lighting, soft carpeting and overstuffed sofas. The center has one large room of separate seating areas for families who want some privacy but also may want to talk to the others. There are also private rooms for families who need to be alone, a non-denominational meditation room, a kitchen and a children’s room with cribs and toys.

General Swartz called the opening bittersweet.  Mrs. Biden, wife of the Vice President joined the ceremony.  While the military might have thought the former room adequate, Mrs. Swartz gave the new room a woman’s touch. 

Under the old policy, photographs of the flag-draped cases were banned, family travel expenses were not paid to Dover and loved ones were not encouraged to come. The new policy allows families to say no to the media coverage; the Air Force Mortuary Affairs Operation Center at Dover said that 56 per cent have said yes.

The single busiest night at Dover since last April has been Oct. 29, 2009, when President Obama made an unannounced trip there in the middle of the night to witness the return of 18 Americans killed in Afghanistan.

Perhaps the President’s midnight visit on October 29, 2009 to welcome home the fallen warriors helped Mrs. Swartz create the environment she wanted for these grieving families.  Good for Suzie Swartz for moving forward with an idea.  Our military families deserve no less.  They have paid the ultimate price with their sacrified loved one.

 

Dignified Transfer Portfolio

28 Thoughts to “Comfort for Mourning Families at Dover AFB”

  1. GainesvilleResident

    This is a good thing the military is doing. Sometimes, the military doesn’t take too good care of military families when bad things happen to one of their family members. Their resources for family members who are back here in the states when a family member is deployed overseas – at times seem to be a mix of good and bad and many families get frustrated with stuff, from what I’ve heard. Glad to see this at least being done, we owe those families a lot for the sacrifice of their member overseas in this conflict.

  2. I totally agree, Gainesville. Thank you for your eloquence and for being the first one out of the gate on this thread.

    This facility sure beats the telegram that came to the door during WWII, then burial on foreign soil. I have a friend whose father was killed during the Normandy invasion. She was still a toddler and never knew her father. The year the WWII Memorial was finished, she finally got over to France where he is buried. It was a very touching story.

    There is something about those thousands of men being buried on foreign soil that just tears at me. Perhaps it is a good thing to remind those countries of our ultimate sacrifice, often on their behalf.

  3. Pat.Herve

    I am surprised to learn that the family travel expenses were not covered in the past. I can only imagine how emotional it must be to see your loved one come home via Dover.

  4. Opinion

    If you haven’t seen “Taking Chance”, I suggest you pick up a copy and watch it. http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Chance-Kevin-Bacon/dp/B001TOD6N4 I have been a survival assistance officer… we do the best that we can.

  5. Opinion

    …and have the kleenex handy. This “old soldier” was touched to tears by this movie.

  6. GainesvilleResident

    Pat.Herve :
    I am surprised to learn that the family travel expenses were not covered in the past. I can only imagine how emotional it must be to see your loved one come home via Dover.

    It’s an example how at times the military has not taken the best care of their families. i was surprised to, but then again not really. I’m glad things are improving for the families.

  7. GainesvilleResident

    Opinion :
    If you haven’t seen “Taking Chance”, I suggest you pick up a copy and watch it. http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Chance-Kevin-Bacon/dp/B001TOD6N4 I have been a survival assistance officer… we do the best that we can.

    Never heard of that movie – will have to check it out sometime, sounds interesting.

  8. Opinion

    ok… twenty-two years active duty Regular Army here, about half of it overseas in various colorful places. I always felt that the Army took excellent care of my family, the families of my soldiers, and survivors of that which all soldiers fear the most. There is a natural driver to do this… we all know our families could be next to receive survivor assistance. This encourages all of us to do all that we can all of the time.

    There’s always a question of “how much should we do”, “how much is enough”, “how much is too much”; however, (IMHO) we always try to do the right thing for the ones who wait. I’m glad that they improved things at Dover; however, I take exception with those who think we cared any less in the past. It’s just one more thing we do better.

    While I can’t speak for all of the services, the Army IS a family… and we take care of our own.

  9. Thanks for sharing your experiences, Opinion. Do you know how this was handled during Vietnam? I just rewatched Gardens of Stone. Big lump in my throat there.

    While so many people are bashing President Obama for ‘not thinking we are at war,’ they need to remember who went up in the dead of night when an unusually large number of KIA were coming in. I also hope they remember who paved the way for paying to have the families brought in for the dignified transfer. That should have been done since forever.

  10. Opinion

    @Moon-howler
    I certainly agree, H-h. One thing a soldier learns to do is to worry about the next battle, not agonize over the last one. We should have been doing a lot of things differently in a lot of areas since “forever”… all we can Endeavour for is to do better in the future… one small battle at a time.

  11. Wolverine

    Thank you, Moon, from a military vet. This is a nice and appropriate thread. I understand that the CIA dead from Afghanistan also passed through Dover AFB.

  12. Wolverine

    Moon-howler’s comment in #2 brought back some memories. When I came out of Vietnam on medevac, the military sent a telegram to my folks. They were not home when the Western Union delivery man came, so he left a note about a telegram waiting for them at the WU office. When they drove to the WU office, my mother refused to get out of the car. She told my father that she remembered World War II when all the families got was a telegram to advise them of the death of a child in the military. She was afraid that she was about to receive notification that I was dead, even though my father tried to convince her that, during the Vietnam War, the military sent people to your door to deliver such sad news. She waited in the car praying until Dad came out and told her I was alive and in a military hospital in New York. Historical memories are very hard to erase.

  13. RingDangDoo

    @Opinion

    >>> If you haven’t seen “Taking Chance”, I suggest you pick up a copy and watch it.

    Absolutely! It’s a must-see movie! I can’t remember a movie affecting me as much as that one. Ever! I was in tears!

    From imdb.com, it was “based on the journal of Lt. Col. Michael R. Strobl, USMC (ret.)” who is (was?) stationed at Quantico.

    InsideNova.com had an article about the film back in February…

    http://www2.insidenova.com/isn/news/patriot/article/taking_chance/29432/

  14. Glad to do it, Vets. Thanks for your service. I don’t think most of us civilians knew much at all about Dover or a ‘dignified transfer.’ I know I sure didn’t. I knew the caskets came in to Dover and that was about it.

    I did not know that the CIA people passed through there also but it only makes sense they would.

    It is the least we can do for the families and the deceased, as a nation. Suzie Schwartz is a hero in her own rights for her efforts to make this happen for the families.

    Opinion, Netflix has Taking Chance. It is a mailable, not an instant view.

    Wolverine, what a story! Your poor mother! Had you been wounded?

    I thought they sent people to your house during Vietnam. I had a few friends who lost husbands. I just didn’t ask for the gories though. I guess I learned from the movies like I did WWII. Didn’t kids deliver telegrams back in those days?

  15. Wolverine

    No, not a scratch, Moon-howler. Neither the Viet Cong nor the North Vietnamese could lay a hand on me. I was felled by two highly secretive and nefarious enemies who were far more skilled at ambushes: tuberculosis and malaria. Didn’t turn out all that badly, however. I married the Navy Nurse assigned to take care of me.

  16. Wow, now there’s a story. Wolverine, I think you should write a book. I would sure buy it.

  17. Gainesville Resident

    Wolverine and Opinion – I also obviously wanted to add is that I also appreciate your service to the country. I’ve never served in the military, but have high respect for those who have, or still do. Of course in my job I work with a lot of military folks out in the field.

    Both your writings about your military service are really interesting reading!

    MH – thanks for the tip that Netflix has that movie Taking Chance that Opinion recommended , as I use Netflix too. That makes it painless to rent the movie, as it really costs me nothing. I like that a lot of stuff is available on instant view, these days. Still, I can add it to my queue, put it at the top, and when I send back my current rental I’ll get it in just a couple of days.

    This thread has been a really great thread actually, even though it’s too bad the reason behind this thread is the military has only just recently really stepped up to the plate in trying to help families who’s family members have been killed in the line of duty. It should have been this way many many years ago in fairly modern times, not having to wait to 2010 for it to happen!

  18. Gainesville Resident

    I would also buy a book about Wolverine’s experiences that led up to his marrying the Navy Nurse! Sounds like a story that had ups and downs but ended up with a happy ending! Also his story about how his mother was afraid she was being notified of his death.

    For military families, the sight of some military official walking up to your house – usually means someone is coming to notify them of a death, so that must be a scary thing to see for sure! I’ve heard there’s a specific protocol they follow for that notification. Somewhere in a book I read one military guy talked about being assigned to that duty, and also being assigned to attend the funeral, and he said they have a real rigid protocol they follow – in what they say to the family, how they act at the funeral (they can’t really show any emotion), etc.

    Speaking of military funerals, it’s a real shame the military no longer has enough real buglers – people who know how to play the bugle – anymore. Instead, at most military funerals, and electronic bugle is used – and anyone can do that. It looks like a bugle, and the guy fakes playing it, but really inside it has electronics and a speaker in its opening and it is just playing a recording of the bugle call! Some embarassing things have happened, the recording has not worked properly, has skipped notes, etc. etc. It’s a real shame that this one dignified honor that is the right of anyone at a military funeral to have played at their funeral, has become such a mess. A lot of people really hate hate hate the electronic buglers, as even if it goes off fine, you know it’s still “fake”! Someone is pretending to play the bugle! It’s not really a dignified thing.

    I guess there’s a big need for people to take up the bugle and then join the military and perform at funerals!

  19. Gainesville Resident

    Here’s an article about when electronic bugles were introduced in 2002 by the military

    http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0LIY/is_4_90/ai_95598526/

    Here’s another article:

    http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/story?id=130018&page=1

    I can’t find articles about the controversy and mishaps, but they are out there somewhere, as I read one about that maybe a year or two ago. Many embarrassing things have happened.

    The loudspeaker is mounted in the bugle’s opening. One time the “bugler” was playing it at a funeral, and the loudspeaker came tumbling out while he was playing it – broke the wires off and fell to the ground with a resounding thud! Of course the song ended abruptly when the wires connecting the loudspeaker broke!! Very embarrassing and undignified obviously.

    I happened to think of this when going back to the basis of this thread – dignified treatment of military members killed in the line of duty and their families. Of course, any honorably discharged vet or a current vet can request for “Taps” to be played at their funeral. It is unfortunate they can’t be honored with a REAL miltary bugler, rather than some guy faking the thing.

  20. Gainesville Resident

    One last article (but well worth reading) – http://www.sptimes.com/2003/09/28/Floridian/Mourning_in_America.shtml

    I really can’t find any negative articles on the military electronic bugle. But I know some people aren’t happy with it. However, reading these articles I may be changing my opinion – it does seem like it’s unfortunately the only realistic solution to the shortage of real military buglers! I guess if you look at it that way, it’s better than them playing a music CD at the funeral, which is what they were doing in some cases! Imagine someone turning on a CD player to play “Taps” – that’s even more undignified. So maybe this isn’t such a bad solution after all – providing there’s no more embarrassing mishaps like the one I read about. Some other times it failed to work at all – like all electronics, sometimes you turn the thing on and nothing happens! I guess it runs on a battery, and maybe sometimes the battery has been dead – the guy went to “play” it, began moving his fingers on the bugle keys, and nothing came out! I read that too in some article.

  21. Why doesn’t the military just recruit a bunch of buglers or hire out the job. Hell they hire out for everything else. I am sure there are plenty of struggling musicians who would welcome the job.

    Not sure how hard it is to switch off from like playing sax or trumpet to playing bugle.

    I want Wolverine writing a book!

  22. GainesvilleResident

    I don’t know – maybe there’s really a lack of qualified civilian buglers too! It’s not a common instrument played in the civilian world. As you say, don’t know how hard it is to switch from playing a trumpet to a bugle! Maybe they are two very different things. I would think a sax is very different than a trumpet from how it’s played – don’t even think it has the same number of buttons to push but I might be wrong.

    I’m in line right behind you MH, regarding Wolverine’s book. You’ll be the first to buy it and i’ll be the 2nd. Can it come in a Kindle edition?

    [Editor’s note: I knew what you meant and took the liberty of making the correction.]

  23. GainesvilleResident

    Meant to say “regarding Wolverine’s book” in the first sentence of the last paragraph in my previous post!

  24. Reading this thread brought back memories I had to respond to because M-H, as you asked, I know first hand, by experience how this was handled during Vietnam. I served in the USMC from June 1969 to March 1973, going to boot camp the day after graduation from HS. I arrived in Vietnam five months later on Thansgiving Day, 1969 and except for a 30 day leave for willfully extending my “tour”, left in July, 1971 to marry my HS girlfriend (and 38 years later, still going strong). I was then assigned to Marine Barracks San Francisco which sounds great but I was assigned to “Escort Platoon”, where I individually “escorted home” the remains of Marines KIA (killed in action). I intentionally did not watch the “Chance” movie thing. Vietnam wasn’t like today where Majors, Colonels and Brigadiers escort E-2s and E-3’s (PFC’s and Lance Corporals). I was a nondescript, routine Marine E-4 (Cpl) and was escorting Marines back to the NY, northern NJ, eastern Pa area because that is where I am originally from (the Bronx, to be exact). It required two weeks of specialized training back at Parris Island before I did my first assignment but I assure you, an escort did not diviate one iota off the “script” for lack of a better word. It was very honorable duty but tough emotionally. I was just back “in the world” as we called it, after 20 “interesting” months (to say the least!) in Vietnam, newly married and was flying cross country on a weekly basis with fallen Marines my age and rank. Looking back on my whole four years in the USMC I realize I was so “young and dumb” (as the expression goes) and didn’t realize so much and what it all meant. Long story short, I have (mostly) wonderful memories of those families I was with for a week at the most dreadful time of their lives. After seven months, I requested a tranfer, thinking I’d get back to the east coast like to LeJeune, Quantico, Cherry Point etc. Not so. Sent back to “FMF WestPac” as Vietnam was called in the USMC (Fleet Marine Force – Western Pacific) to the III MAF (Marine Amphibious Force) Combat Action Teams where we taught (supposedly)the ARVNs (Army of the Republic of Vietnam) how they were really supposed to fight. Whatever. Point is the burial of a fallen Marine, Soilder, Sailor or Airman is a very dignified, hightly scripted function that the public has no knowledge or understanding of unless you’ve had the unfortunate experience of going through it. There is no greater glory then giving ones life for this country. My eyes are tearing up right now thinking of the guys I knew and served with who didn’t make it home and those who I had the honor of not knowing but bringing them home. And one last comment: I still cannot control my tears when I hear the sound of “Taps”, whether live or recorded.

  25. John, thank you for sharing a most personal experience. Perhaps being young and dumb is the only way to get through that time of grief.

    If you can bear to do it, what all did it entail? As you said, those who fortunately have not had the experience really have no idea about the process.

    Thanks again for sharing with us and thank you for your service.
    M-H

  26. Wolverine

    John S — God bless for undertaking that job you did at Marine Barracks San Francisco. That had to be tough emotional duty. I came back on a medevac plane full of young Marines. My bunkmate on that USAF plane was covered from head to toe with a cast, with only his eyes, nose, and mouth visible. I never got his name because all he could do was moan in pain for thousands of flight miles. Mrs. Wolverine not only took care of me but also of countless Marines so badly wounded that they despaired of their futures even if they recovered enough to leave the hospital. Quite a few never did leave that hospital. She was as young as many of them and fought an emotional battle almost every day. Even though we live close by, neither of us has yet visited the memorial on the Mall. We are both “old vets” now; but you are spot on. Those damned tears suddenly well up no matter how hard you try.

    Moon-howler — Here’s a tid bit to lift the mood a bit. Many years into our marriage, we acquired an old LP recording from a music mail retailer. It was an LP of songs which were popular during the World War I era — e.g. “Over There”; “It’s a Grand Old Flag”; “How Do You Keep Him Back on the Farm Once He’s seen Paree.” When we heard one of those songs, we both nearly keeled over with laughter. It was entitled “I Don’t Want to Get Well!” The song is purportedly sung by a young American soldier wounded on the battlefield in France and recuperating in a field hospital. He is writing a letter home to the folks. The refrain was “I dont want to get well, I don’t want to get well; for I’m in love with a beautiful nurse!”

  27. And you both could relate to that one!! I have never hear ‘I don’t want to get Well.’ They had some strange songs back in that era.

    Well bless Mrs. Wolverine also for caring for those marines! That’s certainly not a job I would have welcomed doing. Afraid my tour of duty was a little easier than you all had it. Mine was school right down the road from Quantico.

    I offered to wheel my mother around the WWII memorial. She told me no, she didn’t want to go. She said she knew she wouldn’t be able to stand it. I did a video of it and put some old WWII music to the shots. I don’t know how it went over.

  28. I don’t think the public really knows or understands what becomes of the wounded. They sort of fade away. I am not sure we do as well with integrating those wounded troops back into society as they did during wars in the 19th century. Perhaps because so many people live nowadays who would have died in earlier wars makes this paticularly true.

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