MJM: A Sarcastic Thanks for Clearing Our Community

Alanna

A letter to the editor from a local teen appeared yesterday in the Manassas Journal Messenger.

Suzie Eskelund
Published: July 20, 2008

I am a 17-year-old caucasian girl who has lived in Manassas my whole life. I just want to say thank you for allowing the white, self-righteous and supremacist legal citizens of this fine, upstanding county
to once again have the important jobs back, like fast food and construction. I know it has always been my dream to work the drive through at my neighborhood McDonald’s and now you have made that
dream more possible. I am so proud to be a part of a city that is taking a stand against those pesky brown people. I was riding in the car with my Hawaiian friend when we got pulled over so the nice
policeman could make sure she wasn’t an illegal Latina. I know that in my heart I couldn’t be more thankful for those new laws that you helped pass to racially profile everyone with dark skin. Gee, I don’t even know why I’m friends with her.

I know that no one who eats tacos and burritos can be a good person. I mean hey, I don’t want that new Chipotle on Liberia Avenue! These people just need to go back to Mexico and take their children.
They deserve to starve, be in constant danger, and have a poor education.

After all, they were born in an inferior country! I don’t want any new customs in my life.

I want to be closed-minded and be surrounded by my pasty friends forever. Please get that diversity away from me!

Now people say that all Americans immigrated here. Well that may be true, but at least all of mine spoke English when they came here! Oh wait… except for my Danish, French, and German relatives.
But no matter, at least it wasn’t Spanish. When I was in high school and I was trying to learn another language, I had the hardest time and struggled through all three years. I hardly remember any of that
language, but who cares? Learning a second language may be really hard for anyone, but it doesn’t matter if your first language was English.

Now I look around my upper middle-class neighborhood and see that there are far fewer children for my neighbors to play with. But I rest assured knowing that when they play tag, they won’t get tagged by Latino cooties anymore.

Next, we should give them disease-infested blankets; it worked when we wanted to get rid of Native Americans.

Thank you once again for your efforts to cleanse our community,

SUZIE ESKELUND
Manassas

Washingtonian Magazine Declares PWCBoS Villians

Alanna

According to this month’s edition of Washingtonian Magazine, our Prince William County Board of Supervisors have been declared villians by Washington area residents. Apparently they are considered to be as evil as former DC mayor – Marion Barry, Dan Snyder from the Washington Redskins and George W. Bush. Anyone interested in reading should purchase this month’s edition where it is layed out in black & white for the whole Country to read. What an embarassment!