Op-Ed Columnist
Eye of the Newt
By GAIL COLLINS
Published: March 11, 2011
The presidential race is barely under way, but already we have had our first Big Thought. I am speaking, of course, of Newt Gingrich’s suggestion that he was driven into serial adultery by hard work and patriotism.
“There’s no question that at times in my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and that things happened in my life that were not appropriate,” he told an interviewer on the Christian Broadcasting Network.
You can imagine how much discussion this sparked. “Will ‘feeling passionate about this country’ become the new ‘hiking the Appalachian Trail’? ” asked Bruce Handy of Vanity Fair.
Really, the concept explains quite a bit. New York’s former governor, Eliot Spitzer, worked a lot. And right now New York City is reeling over the indictment of a powerful state senator, who turns out to have had a secret life in a waterside mansion that he shared with two male gynecologists and their mother. We are still sorting out the details, but I can tell you that this guy used to be the chairman of the Finance Committee. You can only sit through so many hearings on tax policy before the call of the wild starts ringing in your ears.
Also, whenever I hear “former Mayor Rudy Giuliani” I think of patriotism and round-the-clock dedication to the job. Also, about the time he called a press conference to announce that he and his wife were separating and the wife, who hadn’t heard, started telling reporters about an affair she believed Rudy had had with a female staffer.
Gingrich is asked about his personal life more often than most politicians. If you’re on your third wife, cheated perpetually on the first two, and are running for the Republican presidential nomination as a social conservative, these things come up.
The most famous story about Gingrich’s failed marriages is about his first wife, Jackie, who had been Newt’s high school math teacher before he appeared at her door and suggested a new equation. Jackie was recovering from surgery for uterine cancer when her husband walked in and started talking about the terms of a divorce.
She is not to be confused with the second wife, Marianne, who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and was visiting her mother when her husband called to tell her there was another woman.
Anyway, you can see how the topic of Gingrich’s home life would come up. Generally, he doesn’t seem all that thrilled by the invitation to explain himself. But he was very chatty on the Christian Broadcasting Network. Perhaps this was because of the way the interviewer, David Brody, phrased his question.
“Talk about a forgiving God?” he asked.
Newt was quite forthcoming about both God’s readiness to forgive him and the much, much better lifestyle he has embraced now that he’s found true love with Wife No. 3, converted to Catholicism and “learned an immense amount.”
People, can we all agree now that men who spend their early and middle ages betraying women right and left are not allowed to get credit for discovering the joys of monogamy at about the same time that they receive their first Social Security check?
Of course, Gingrich is being a better husband this time around. He’s 67! By then, most men have not just finished sowing their wild oats. The oats have been harvested, ground up, reprocessed and turned into soggy cornflakes.
“In general, in men and women, the sexual hormones decrease as you age. It’s a lot of work, dating and managing multiple partners,” says Rose Hartzell, a therapist at the San Diego Sexual Medicine Center.
God forgives you at any age, but voters should only reward reformations that occur before the miscreant receives his first copy of the AARP bulletin.
Gingrich offered up his analysis of the cause of his sexual indiscretions when he appeared with other presidential hopefuls at an event in Iowa sponsored by the Faith and Freedom Coalition. This is a group established by the former Christian Coalition leader Ralph Reed, who is recovering from a fall from grace himself. Reed’s involved secretly working with the disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff to block a ban on Internet gambling. Which I do not believe is the sort of thing you can blame on a heavy schedule and the flag.
In his public life, Gingrich’s rhetoric is less forgiving than apocalyptic. His speech in Iowa was laced with attacks on Democrats (“secular socialists”) and a call for “a political change so deep and so profound that nothing we have seen in our lifetime is comparable.” He has called Barack Obama “authentically dishonest,” and “a person who is fundamentally out of touch with how the world works, who happened to have played a wonderful con, as a result of which he is now president.”
If only Obama had committed adultery instead of health care reform, I’m sure they’d be getting along a lot better.
Op-ed piece posted in its entirety. Was Gail Collins spot on or should we make an exception for Newt? What galls me so much is that this philanderer was trying to have Bill Clinton impeached. Funniest thing how the sound of closing zippers could be heard when they thought they had Clinton over a barrel. I wish I had cashed in on some of that Larry Flynt money.
First time I’ve ever heard hard work and dedication given as an excuse for adultery. Twice in a row yet.
Wait a cotton picking minute here!!! What’s this crap about “soggy cornflakes”?!!! Of all the….ban this woman from the blog!!!
Bwaaahahahahahahah@ Wolverine. Yup. The imagery was ….unpleasant at best.
If he’s elected, it would make for an awkward official introduction at State dinners:
“Ladies and Gentlement, the President of the United States, Newt Gingrich, and the Third Lady, Callista.”
He would also be the only President in modern history old enough to have been the father of his wife, although the 22 year age difference would be 3rd (I believe) greatest among presidents and spouses (John Tyler is #1 as he was 30 years older than his 2nd wife (his first wife died while he was in office) with whom he had 7 children to go with the 8 he had with his first wife).
Moe, you are just full of matrimonial facts this morning. That Newtster is just a piece of work. It would be one thing if he were a hottie….but…sigh…he is the Newster–sort of an egg-head with zero sex appeal. Now Clinton, that is another story…..for another day…..
He should just tell the truth. It would be accepted faster and better. Although moral bankruptcy seems to be a MO of those that falsly claim to be part of the religious right only to garner vote. Again, “I’m just like you”, in the Trojan Horse – pun intended.
The country can produce a better candidate than this cowardly, bombastic hypocrite. Next!
Even Edwards, Ensign and Sanford did better than that in the lame-ass excuse category.
I wish someone would just have the nads to stand up and say, sometimes I am a scum bag who can’t keep his zipper up. the rest of the time I am an ok person.
It is the hypocrites that I can’t stand. I don’t much care what other people do unless they have shrouded themself in the family values banner. Then I want to hunt them down mercilessly and point out their flaws.
The same theme just pops up over and over. As humans we understand that we make wrong decisions and we say the wrong things. Human judgement is not focused soley on what you do but how you do it. Those are the degrees of actions.
Call me old fashioned, but you can’t make cornflakes — soggy or otherwise — from oats.
As for Newt, he’s always made my skin crawl.
I guess infidelity is sexier when the perps are attractive.
Awww come on…I was just giving Moe a hard time.
So lets ponder that a minute…is infidelity sexier when perps are attractive?
Sure, especially if you have a ‘dog in the fight’ so to speak. That goes without saying. But how about when the perps are just gross? Isn’t there a little speculation there also? Aren’t we also somewhat amazed?
Now I want to throw something out…a very wise woman I knew who certainly had known her fair share of philandering husbands once said to me, you know, when it all shakes down, the ‘other woman’ is never quite as good as the wife.
So do men (and lets not even bring cheating women into this discussion) usually cheat ‘down’ rather than cheat up?
Juturna, I forgot to complement your pun. H/T
Good one!!!
So does Newt Gingrich stand a chance at all? Could he be elected President? What would keep him from this job he wants?
Well, I don’t think he has a lot of credibility at this point. He just should have said nothing instead of thinking he could bring God into it and absolve himself…..thinking we’d believe him.
I do agree on his (long ago) statement that many kids in this country would be better off in orphanages… well run ones..wonder if he’s still concerned about those kids.
Add to the fact that he’s a d-bag who is incapable of pretending that he’s not a d-bag.
Just another arrogant member of our political aristocracy who thinks he can do or say anything and get away with it. Never say never, but I think you have a better shot at winning the lottery than he does of being elected President.
I’m going to buy a ticket.
Speaking as a politically involved, moderately well-informed, conservative Tea Party member…..Newt Gingrich has as much chance to win the primaries as I do. He’s deluding himself if he thinks that he has a chance of winning any nomination.
Here’s a conundrum for you….
who would you rather see as President, assuming that they won…..Palin or Gingrich?
That’s like asking someone whether they’d rather have Herpes or AIDS.
Newt. At least he can speak English.
Newt made himself a laughing stock not just with his patriotism-can-cause-adultery riff, but by his actions that put him in a position to have to make up such nonsense. But, having acknowledged that, he serves a useful purpose by generating a lot of ideas. He’s just one big intellectual spaghetti flinger. That not all the strands stick doesn’t diminish the usefulness of someone playing that role. I say just keep him heaving the “pasta ad murum” (Where’s Centurion Cleese when I need him? Does murus take the accusative here?). In a time full of thoughtless windbags, a thoughtful windbag perhaps has a role.