There is an article in the Washington Post entitled The Death of a Pet can Hurt as Much as the Loss of a Relative that absolutely brought me to my knees. I have felt guilty for years that my little dog Smitty’s death clobbered me worse than the death of my father. It has been 20 years since that dog died and I still am not over it. I have lost other dogs and a cat since then. It still stands out as the absolute worst of the worst other than the loss of my mother. In that case, it might have tied. She, of all people, would understand that so I don’t feel guilty.
The article talks about why we feel pet loss so intensely and it is worth reading. Do it when you aren’t embarrassed to start tearing up. It is sort of a private read. Too little is done for people who lose pets. I try to send condolence cards to my friends and family when pets die. I don’t get to everyone but I try. As a society, we say we are sorry but we move on about our every day business. We don’t ask how that person is doing or probably even think that some of our friend go home to an empty house after the death of a pet. There was no funeral, no visitation. Just a long empty drive home, in some cases.
Stoney’s ashes sit on my desk. I bought a gray toy stuffed Schnauzer to sit on top of the urn. I am ok with his death. I poured thousands of dollars into his wellness and he and I both ran out of patience. It was time. Mr. Howler is a wonderful human being about pets and when it is time. He always goes and does the dirty deed. I know they are in good hands and I make a point of telling people that is one reason why I married him. I mean it as the highest of compliments because that is something very important to me. My son has inherited some of the dirty deed work and he has his father’s compassion. It kills him but he does it.
Where are the pet bereavement groups? Are there local groups? Are they face to face? Are they online? If pet death is as bad or worse than the death of family members, we as a society sure have come up lacking in that department. There seems to be a group for everything else. What happens to us when our pets cross over the rainbow bridge?
Your thoughts on a very sad topic? (I am happy to report my pets, to my knowledge, are in good health.)
