It was a one-mile walk home from a Silver Spring park on Georgia Avenue on a Saturday afternoon. But what the parents saw as a moment of independence for their 10-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter, they say authorities viewed much differently. Danielle and Alexander Meitiv say they are being investigated for neglect for the Dec. 20 trek — in a case they say reflects a clash of ideas about how safe the world is and whether parents are free to make their own choices about raising their children.
Let me start off by saying that if things were this stringent when my kids were coming along, I would be in the jail probably for about ten years. My kids ran all over the place and once they got a little age on them, there were times I didn’t know right where they were. They also didn’t have cell phones. What is the free-range movement? According to WaPo:
The Meitivs say they believe in “free-range” parenting, a movement that has been a counterpoint to the hyper-vigilance of “helicopter” parenting, with the idea that children learn self-reliance by being allowed to progressively test limits, make choices and venture out in the world. “The world is actually even safer than when I was a child, and I just want to give them the same freedom and independence that I had — basically an old-fashioned childhood,” she said. “I think it’s absolutely critical for their development — to learn responsibility, to experience the world, to gain confidence and competency.”
On December 20th, the children began their walk towards home and made it half way.
Police picked up the children near the Discovery building, the family said, after someone reported seeing them. Police on Wednesday did not immediately have information on the case. But a spokeswoman said that when concerns are reported, “we have a responsibility as part of our duty to check on people’s welfare.”
The Meitivs did not go quietly:
The Meitivs say that on Dec. 20, a CPS worker required Alexander to sign a safety plan pledging he would not leave his children unsupervised until the following Monday, when CPS would follow up. At first he refused, saying he needed to talk to a lawyer, his wife said, but changed his mind when he was told his children would be removed if he did not comply.
CPS has shown up at their house and interviewed the kids at school. Mrs. Meitiv feels entrance into the house is a violation of her privacy. I agree. The children appear healthy and the parents’ belief system is every bit as solid as someone who kept their kids from doing something for religious reasons. It seems to me, given the children’s ages, that the parents are the best ones to determine if they are ready for a little free-range responsibility. We aren’t talking about toddlers. Kids are far healthier and better decision makers if they get a chance to practice. Being outdoors is a good thing. I feel sorry for kids nowadays. They have no idea what independence really is.
I will never forget the day my daughter got her bike. She jumped on it and rode away, hair blowing in the breeze. What a happy memory. Freedom! She stuck to her parameters we had set for her but she was alone, riding wildly around her neighborhood. She was probably 10.
I think my grandchildren would be afraid of jumping on a bike and riding off. I am not sure they could even do it. I wouldn’t let them do it from my house anyway for fear I would be arrested for child endangerment. When did this bullcrap start? Does anyone else see it as bullying by the government? I am all for keeping kids safe but….this isn’t how you go about doing it. How about letting kids learn to be kids so they make better adults?
I grew up in a small (6,000) town in Oklahoma and we were out about all we wanted and I suspect tour parents may well have known where we were. There were many times when I did something I really didn’t want my folks to know about but they almost always knew even before I got home. This case involves a 10-year old boy and a 6-year old girl walking down Georgia Avenue in Silver Spring, Maryland. I disagree that the kids are fully capable of making sound decisions regarding their safety-think Relisha Rudd or how about Hannah Graham, a UVA student who was killed because she apparently made a wrong decision about her safety.
How far do you let your children roman may well depend on where you live and I’m sure not certain downtown Silver Slring is one of those places where I would let a 10-year old and a 6-year old “free range.”
Yet young children are allowed to take public transportation to school–not only in DC but in more “dangerous” cities like NY. I’ve seen them riding alone on the U-Bahn in Germany.
When I was a kid, I roamed for hours, and my mother didn’t always know where I was. Of course, there were other kids around to play with all day long. These days, I think these wanderers would be out there pretty much alone.
I roamed also. My kids roamed, maybe worse than I did. Part of the reason that kids have obesity problems today is that they don’t go outside and play. Some kids have never explored their neighborhoods without their parents.
I would make a very bad helicopter parent.
Unless my siblings or I played in the house or carport, we were largely unsupervised. When we biked away from the house, we were warned merely to look out for cars. My friends and I wandered around the creeks and lake in the neighborhood. We didn’t have to wait for a school excursion to learn about tadpoles, building structures, snakes, ….or bb guns and where the carpenters working down the street hid their girly magazines.
My sister was a CPS worker in Virginia and I know there are limited number of hours that children of differing ages can be left alone. I don’t know about Maryland or age limits for walking on the street but would think that if one of the children was 10 then they would be okay. The kids in my neighborhood probably walk at least half a mile to their bus stop.
I’ve recently taken my grandniece on walks in the woods. Initially she was scared of possible ticks and snakes – or zombies – but got over it. She’s even gotten over her fear of dogs. I think kids lead a too sheltered life. They’re sharp when it comes to technology but naive when it comes to getting around on their own.
I think helicopter parents are a reaction to having been latchkey kids.
I am scared of ticks. Still. I don’t like snakes to surprise me either but if I know they are there I am not afraid.
The carpenters never did find out what happened to those magazines.
In my day, all the kids walked to school except for those living way out in the sticks. I was a school safety patrol who helped the kids to get across a rather busy street. No adult safety patrol at my corner either. We had a lot of responsibility for kids aged 10 to 12. But I don’t think that would work today. Too many crazies around.
You bring up an interesting point, Wolve. Are there more crazies or are we aware of more crazies. I am just not sure. What I do know is that kids have more resources to turn to if they do have an abusive parent or a groper.
I also think pervs have an easier time getting to whatever floats their boat and it possibly could put others at more risk.
You know, Wolve, I believe most kids today never get a chance
to develop responsibility for themselves.
@Wolve
We just told the other kids where to find the stash. You know, spread the wealth…
I’m a bit torn on this. I was a “Latch Key” kid who walked to and from school. Kindergartners walked to school. We did have the AAA safety patrol, staffed by 6th graders stationed at every corner, and a crossing guard and any intersection with a stop light. I lived in a working-class neighborhood just outside Boston. I had an evening paper-route that had me arriving home after the streetlights came on. While I was ultimately accountable for my whereabouts and associations, I did have a fair amount of freedom at an early age. I knew to stay away from “big kids”, especially those who smoked those funny-smelling cigarettes. I knew not to talk to strangers or approach a strange car. I knew not to approach the occasional “crazy bum” that one might encounter.
I’m not sure whether or not kids were “safer” then, than now. I just know that kids were a bit more “innocent”. I know drivers were less distracted. I know that there was a much smaller market and access to media regarding child exploitation. I know that if a stranger or “big kid” was hassling a little kid, an observing neighborhood adult (often a mother) may come flying out of their home wielding a blunt instrument or a can of oven cleaner.
But if you asked me whether or not I am “helicopter” or “free range” to be honest, I am like that famous scene out of “Apocalypse Now”. I am extremely protective. Mrs. T’s job, and my general interest in current events, not to mention what my faith teaches as my proper role, I’ll admit it: When it comes to my daughter, I am hyper-vigilant, bordering on paranoid, fully prepared to meet any threat with overwhelming force, and trying to instill age-appropriate threat-awareness in my child.
But that’s what works for me, based on my world-view. If these folks want to raise their children differently, based on their own world-view, that’s on them. Feeding, clothing, shelter, education, general medical care and due diligence with regard to protection from abuse…these are the purview of the parent, as they are the one’s ultimately accountable for the provision thereof. What the “standard” is, is much open to debate, but I think the state should try to exercise restraint to the highest degree possible. “General Welfare” is a very subjective term.
Great post, Steve. I can’t think of a thing you said I disagree with.
There are housed by me with children that live there – and they are very rarely seen. Often times they even get into the mini-van in the garage, backed out and driven to school – heaven forbid if they had to take the provided bus. They never play outside. This is what should be investigated.
I rarely see children out playing in my neighborhood. Granted, many people here have kids who are grown. But surely SOME kids live around here.
“Free range” parenting basically means leaving other adults to worry about your kids’ behavior. Kids will frequently get into a WORLD of trouble when unsupervised. IMO these parents are unsuitable, and the involvement of Child Protective Services is appropriate.
If you want your kid to be able to walk around aimlessly unsupervised, move out of this area.
I think these parents are very deliberate and have taught their kids. The boy has a lot of responsibility. Georgia Avenue seems like a bit much though. Neighborhoods are one thing, Georgia Avenue an other.
Still, CPS is bullying the people. I don’t think they want other people to oversee their kids.
Maybe there is a happy medium.
When I lived in Sudley Manor my son had an exact one mile trek home. When I lived on an AFB in Biloxi, MS I walked over a mile to school by myself. My mom showed me the route one time, and the signs to follow. Did the walk too in the midst of a tornado warning. Newport News..we walked a mile or so every day to school. When I was at Yakota AFB, Japan, my friends and I also learned how to bike and walk/run the flight line that divided the base, and how to time the landings. In elementary school I trick-or-treated by myself or with friends in my Newport News neighborhood. While in middle school in Japan, my middle school friends and I regularly left base BY OURSELVES to go shopping at Seiyu department store or eat at local restaurants. No cell phones. No GPS. Good times:)
Did you move?